A new level of laziness.

     Have you ever been so lazy that even playing video games sounds like it would be require too much effort on your part? Of course not, that's not a level most normal people should reach. Well, that's where I've been the last few weeks. Sad, I know, that the thought of wiggling a couple sticks and clicking a few buttons seems like too much.

As additional examples of my superhuman laziness, I offer a multi-part text message I sent out to a few friends last night:

*I'm thinking some commentary or explanation might be nice. I'll use this for any notes I might make. Also, grammar does not exist in my text messages, therefore it will likely not exist here*

"I just came in from the porch, plopped down on BF (and called him a hot dog, since logically I was being the bun) and demanded that he physically remove my jacket for me and physically arrange me on the couch. . . also bring me water. . . and my phone charger. . and a snack. He balked at the snack :( "

I'm not really sure that I have anything to say to defend myself at this point. I will however say that BF is a mean mean hot dog. He yelled "LIMP HOT DOG!" and flopped on me, despite the fact that he is CLEARLY much larger than the bun(me). This was before I started demanding things. When I started that, he stopped being a mean mean hot dog and started being "are you serious?" BF again.

 

"I told him all these things were 'training' in case we have a special needs child some day. He called me  'fucking palsy bear' lol."

I still feel I was making a valid point. I've probably just offended my first person...
 

"and then told me he was not getting me a snack and if I would 'stop pooping out what I feed you' I wouldn't be hungry again already."

One of BF's friends responded "he's got a point." Really? I argue that if BF stopped feeding me, I would also stop pooping out what he feeds me. However, I would likely be hungry a lot more often. Along with other things, my pouting is directly proportional to my hunger. Considering how much I was crabbing at him already, I'd say it's in his best interest to feed me regardless.

 

"I've reached a level of laziness no one over the level of 2 should be able to get away with..."

I'm a little embarassed with how long I thought about this before arriving at the age of 2.  

"I just asked BF when we were going to eat again. He mumbled something about 'petulant pouty palsy bear' and is now making me ramen :)"

I win!